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My Single Mom Journey, Pt. 1

#lessonslearned #beautifultears

When I found out I was pregnant, I tired to pretend like it wasn't happening. I went about my daily routine: going to work, going out with friends, and just being a general 21 year old. I pretended like my period was just gonna show up...eventually.

That didn't happen.

You see, I was not in a good place to become a mom. I was not mentally, emotionally, or financially ready to have a baby. I had taken a break from my college courses after my 2 years. I worked full-time at a local Chili's. I made good money, but I had just bought a car and like many other 21 year old's, I lived with 2 other people. Not to mention the fact that I literally hated my boyfriend, the father. We had gotten together out of sheer loneliness and fear of being alone. He was a rebound so I wouldn't think about how much I missed my almost boyfriend who had unfortunately moved to back to his hometown Chicago.

When I saw the guy that would have become my baby's father, he honestly had looked enough like the other guy that I thought "He'd do just fine".

I know, it's awful. I was selfish, childish, and self-gratifying.

I didn't want to be a mom, especially with that guy.

Fast forward to 3 weeks into the pregnancy. I was at work and I was really sick. I kept throwing up literally every 10 minutes or so and being a server, it wasn't the most ideal situation. I finally said it out loud to my co-worker, Amanda.

"I'm pregnant"

I just said it. She looked at me, surprised and shocked. I just stood there, nauseous and stiff. I knew I couldn't run anymore and I had to face the music. I was pregnant, I was going to be a mom, and my life would never be the same.

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